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What Men and Women Really Want from Marriage - and Why They Divorce

By: James Walsh

In 2005, only 13% of the married couples wanted divorce. One fifth of the people filing for the decree absolute had previous marital history. 69% of the divorces were filed by wives, while the husband’s behaviour was cited as reason in 53% of the cases. In the case of the husband filing for an annulment, 32% cited abandonment as a reason, based on the stipulated two-year period of not keeping any contact whatsoever. These were all divorces with consent. The infidelity ratio is strikingly unbalanced – 75% for men, and 25% for women. Over the past two years, there have been some landmark judgments in favour of the wife getting an equal share if the property.



These statistics have raised a storm over two issues – why are the men of the nation so unfaithful, and the women so greedy? Several groups wishing to protect the rights of men have started protesting and agitating against the unfair legal system which, they feel, shows a clear bias towards handing out property to women. Prenuptial arrangements continue to gain popularity. This is always a murky area to look into, and the statistics aren’t always dependable, making analysis even more difficult.



Men and Sex



It is a proven fact that men are less faithful than women. A newly married man is in a way more stable as a husband (first four years of marriage), but something goes wrong as the married male of the nation crosses 40. While a solid 60% of the population firmly believes that adultery is wrong, why do we have a rising number of adulterers? The probable reasons cited below have been put together from various national survey results of the past year. But it must be clarified that it is better not to go by averages, when dealing with human beings. The infidelity ratio (as no one perhaps remembers) had been almost equally split between the genders a couple of years ago. So we do not know whether last year had been an exceptionally hyperactive time for the married Romeos of the nation, and this is a trend that might subside after a ‘flush’.



Career: This may sound totally clichéd, but the statistics do support it. Men in the higher income bracket and at the apex of their career have a greater tendency towards illicit affairs. Social behavioral scientists have suggested that these men are away from home almost all the time. Given the hectic pace of their lives, they have no time for their family, and are most prone to passing affairs and sudden flings in between work. The basic motive here is to stay uncommitted, whether in marriage or affair.



The Forbidden Fruit: Man has always wanted the unachievable. This applies to many of the cases here too. An ‘exotic’ appeal can still have men going crazy to try to get the woman who seems so enticing. Many men, admittedly, suffer from guilt for the rest of their lives, but while they are at it, the very taboos attached to the relation make a steamy illicit affair more attractive.



The Break for Freedom: Many men feel tied up in the chains of the holy wedlock and want to get out of the familial responsibilities. Men in their late 40’s and 50’s have complained of a boredom and staleness about their married lives, which went deep enough in their psyche to make them try to bring romance back into life again.



Sexual Dissatisfaction: It has been noted that men who are dissatisfied with their wives usually use accusations of ‘adultery’ while looking for a divorce. With women, the term ‘unreasonable behaviour’ seems a greater favourite. However, this dissatisfaction syndrome is also higher among the well-settled 40+ crowd.



Women and Money



Once again, it is a proven fact of the day that women have got away with sizeable millions from their moneyed husbands in a number of high profile divorces lately. It is also true that there is a trend of ‘divorce tourism’ with disgruntled wives of corporate honchos coming down from the continent to have their divorces in England. But a few points need to be noted here are:



1. Most single mothers in the UK are poor.

2. Men have fared better with pensions and financial planning than women.

3. While most women get the house in the divorce, men get the car, stereo, PC etc.

4. Not all divorces are celebrity shows, and most women come out traumatised and poorer after one.



The verdict at the end of the day – human nature cannot be averaged; it can only be studied.

Article Source: Free Content Articles Directory

For more information on using online services to obtain a Divorce which is managed by a solicitor see www.managed-divorce.co.uk

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