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Two Possibilities: Suffering or Happiness

By: Nirmala

There are two possibilities in every moment. The first possibility is to have all of our attention, curiosity and passion focused on what is happening. The other possibility is to focus that same curiosity, attention, and passion on what isn't happening, what is not present, or what want to be happening. The question is: In this moment, what are you giving your attention to? Are you allowing what is, or trying to change it in some way?



When our focus is on what is, our experience opens up and becomes bigger, richer, and more complete. But when we focus on what is not (including the past, the future, or any thought about what should be), our experience of the moment contracts down and becomes much narrower and full of struggle and suffering, because inherent in our focus on what is not is the tendency to struggle with what is.



We discover that much of the time we are oriented toward what is not and in opposition to what is. Life can be mostly about how to make our experience better and have more pleasure, and how to avoid the things that are painful. We evaluate our experience to see what's wrong with this moment and how it could be improved. We ask ourselves what could be added to it to make it better. As a result, our attention becomes very narrow and our awareness very limited as we focus on our own thoughts about the moment instead of the moment itself.



Once we see how much time we spend struggling with what is, the tendency is to go to battle with that-to try to fix that. We think the solution is to fix this tendency to try to change everything. But that only changes the content of our struggle: Now we are struggling with our tendency to try to change things. We suffer over the fact that we are suffering.



Another possibility is to notice how you suffer, without trying to change anything about it. Just allow that you don't allow much. Recognize that that is the way it is. This struggling is what we were conditioned to do; and this it turns out that this conditioning is also a part of what is.



Once we stop being in opposition to what is, it is possible to see how all of our struggling comes from the idea of a "me". Without the assumption that something is my experience, there wouldn't be much point in trying to change anything about the moment. Our effort and struggle to change what is only makes sense if there is a me. It is all in service to maintaining the idea of a me. In fact, the struggle is the me. When there is no struggle, there is no me. All of our suffering is how we have and maintain an identity.



The tendency is to try to fix even this can arise again. We now try to change our belief about the "me". We may focus on getting rid of our identification, which is another way of focusing on something that is not happening. And so we still end up suffering because now we are at war with our idneitifications. Instead of orienting towards what is (our struggle with our identith), we are focusing on how we think it ought to be: I should know better by no than to be so caught in identification; I really should know who I am.



Another possibility is to be really present to this tendency to identify, without making any effort to change it. If that's what is happening, then that's what is happening. You just let it be that way. You can even be amazed by it all, including the fact that there is a sense of a me. You see how unreal this me is, but you don't struggle to be rid of it. There's no longer an assumption that something is wrong that needs to be fixed. This subtle being with what is is what ends the suffering and brings us fully into the now.



When it is completely ok for things to be just the way they are,l including our identity, then naturally more of experience can be included in our awareness. If we just be present to and allow our identification and struggle, then it is also possible to notice something beyond all of that. We can call that Being.



So along with the struggle and suffering inherent in identification, is a much larger ground of Being in which everything is allowed. Our identity is just a thought or idea, but there is no need to judge or turn away from that idea. In addition to the struggling inherent in our identification, there is also present a profoundly rich ocean of Being, which is allows everything, including the "me". The struggle is only a tiny bit of our entire experience and even this struggle is allowed in the limitless presence of Being.



Allowing everything in awareness brings u sin touch with what it is that is allowing, which is Being, and that is who we really are. This can be a startling realization or a very simple one because our Being is actually quite familiar. Every experience of allowing has actually been a moment where we experienced Being.



Paradoxically, what brings us beyond the struggle and unlocks the bigger view is realizing how much we enjoy identifying. Once we allow things to be the way they are, it is possible to admit that identification has been a lot of fun. The illusion of a separate self is an incredible act of creation. It has created the whole drama of human existence. It has inspired many of the great works of art and literature. We love to identify, but that doesn't mean we also don't suffer from it. This creation and projecting of a false identity-a me-is not a mistake. It's natural, spontaneous, and inherent in human nature. It's one of the richest parts of our experience-and there is also the even richer possibility of no longer mistaking the me as the totality of who we are. Identification isn't a mistake, and yet there is much more to life-and to us-than that experience. The larger Being that we truly are is always here.

Article Source: Free Content Articles Directory

Well known spiritual guide, Nirmala has offered Satsang and one-to-one Spiritual Mentoring since 1998. He provides free spiritual books and many more ways to experience his teaching on endless-satsang.com.

This article is available as a unique content article with free reprint rights.

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