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Is your Partner a Control Freak?

Identifying a Control Freak

After spending a couple of years with a partner who is a control freak, the person might be so accustomed to the spouse’s treatment that they might suffer in silence without realising that they are being victimised. Sometimes, they might also tend to blame their own actions instead of understanding that they are being unfairly taunted by their partner. This is similar to an emotional abuse which is difficult to identify unlike any physical harm that could easily be detected.

In order to help you understand if you are a victim to this form of abuse, we have provided a compilation of common strategies handled by the control freaks in exercising their power over their partners:

1. Your spouse decides whether you need to work or not, ignoring your opinion

2. Does not heed your suggestions and makes all the decisions pertaining to your kids.

3. Does not consult you in making any decision. be it about purchasing a house or a small piece of furniture.

4. Makes you accountable for every problem and tries to blame you even for the decisions that he might have taken.

5. Goes through your account statements and instructs you on what you need to spend on and what you should not be buying with your money.

6. Does not allow you to go out with anyone or even alone.

7. Does not even allow you speak in private even to your friends or family.

Even if you were to offer a suggestion on common issues, the person might not be willing to take your advice and act contrary to that. This behaviour is usually adopted by people to show their dominance over their spouse.

Reasons behind Unreasonable Behaviour

In order to address the issue, it is necessary to understand why certain people act this way. It could be due a variety of reasons. Some of the common reasons are provided below:

1. Financial Dependence: Laura was happily married to her husband for 3 years and they made a wonderful pair. Due to an accident, her husband Steve had to give up his job and stay at home while Laura was supporting the family financially. Steve started to develop a feeling of incapability and in order to hide his feeling of insecurity, he began to exercise control over his wife and dominate her. Psychiatrists say that people with a sense of insecurity turn to become control freaks because they fear that they would be dominated or ill treated by their spouse.

2. Childhood Problems: As a child, they might have been a witnessed similar instance between their parents and would try to follow suit thinking it a normal behaviour.

3. Depression: Sometimes even depression could lead the person to vent out his anger in the form of domination over his spouse.

Making a Choice of Whether to Live With It or Not

Living with a partner who is a control freak could be a major form of mental abuse. Sometimes, even after a person realises the mistakes of his spouse, they do not break the marriage as they do not want it to affect their children, lead to financial problems, etc.

However, giving up their personal freedom in order to save their marriage could have even worse consequences. Being a silent witness to this, your children might be affected emotionally as well as psychologically. Also, being a victim can lower a person’s confidence, self-respect and lead to depression.

So, how do you tackle the problem without breaking your marriage? You could try to find the reason behind the problem and try to provide him reassurance. You could also seek professional counselling to address the problem. Make your partner understand that the only way to save their marriage would be to behave reasonably.

However, if your spouse is not willing to change his behaviour, divorce might be the only option left. After all, happiness and peace of mind are too huge a price to pay for anything in life including your marriage.

Article Source: Free Content Articles Directory

James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. For more information on getting a Divorce see www.quickie-divorce.com

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