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Failing to Succeed

By working on my autobiography, I have had the opportunity to reflect on the life I've lived. I've also examined where my life is headed. So an autobiography gives us the chance to see our life as it was, is, and how it might be. As I have written tips on writing your story, I hope that my experiences will motivate others to write their stories. I mean, write about what has already happened and to write their future.

When I write about my own life, I invariably see areas in my life where I could improve. I remember a scripture that states that if you come unto God he will show you your weakness. I often feel the same when I approach my life. My weaknesses glaringly expose themselves to me.

When I recall specific incidents, the blood still rushes to my face.

But what is it about failures, even past failures, that embarrasses me so much? Why do I find it difficult to confront failure?

The programming against failure starts early. "Make me proud," our parents said. "You'll do great!" "Don't embarrass me!" "Don't embarrass yourself!"

The programming continues once we enter school. We are graded on our ability to come up with someone else's right answer.

Additionally, failure extends beyond the boundaries of right or wrong answers in the classroom. Failure also includes failing to live up to expectations: rational or irrational. "I'm disappointed in you."

Are you letting someone else define success for you? Our parents, friends, and family often have definitions of success they want you to live by.

The point is that we want to be successful. So much so, that we avoid, no we shun/evade/steer clear of/stay away from new opportunities if we perceive a chance of failure. Let me rephrase that, we dismiss growing chances because we're too stinkin' afraid.

We're scared. It's so sad.

We need to change how we think about failure. Recently, I saw something on YouTube. Yeah, YouTube. I guess they have some worthwhile videos. I bumped into a video about Spanx founder, Sara Blakely. Her father used to ask his kids what they had failed at in the previous week.

That's a powerful question.

Asking what you succeed at tends toward mediocrity. Someone shooting for success will more likely attempt things where success is more or less guaranteed.

If you're not afraid of failing, you'll try new things. You'll find areas of success where you never dreamed possible.

Have you been unsuccessful at anything recently? I mean really unsuccessful?

You shouldn't try things to purposely fail.

I'm saying try something different. Try something out of your comfort zone.

What would you try if you knew you couldn't fail? Well, try it anyway.

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Visit our discussion on Starting an Autobiography . Robert Brady's Autobiography Workshop is a fantastic tool for writing an autobiography .

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