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Conflicting Desires: Men Want Sex, Women Want Money

The Statistics

Statistics reveal that almost one out of two marriages ends in a divorce and more than 90% of divorces are filed by women. On the top of the list of reasons for divorce is extramarital affair which breaks about 30% of marriages in the UK. The studies also indicate that 75% of the times men commit adultery leading to a divorce.

The second significant reason for divorce is family stress. Financial crunch is one of the main reasons for stress and leads to breakup. Over 15% of marriages ended in divorce due to family problems. Majority of women were responsible for divorces in this category.

Conflicting Interests

When people get married they are so much consumed with love that their interest in other areas takes a back seat. However, with time when the attraction begins to wane, the couple begin to realise that their goals and interests lie in different directions.

A man finds it difficult to understand about his wife’s diminishing interest in sex. At the same time, a wife is surprised about how bad her husband is in managing finances and taking more loans than he can repay. These conflicting interests begin to show and kindles quarrel between the couple.

Let us see what makes these couple take extreme steps that could jeopardise their marriage and whether divorce is the right answer to all their marital problems.

Extramarital Affair: Cause and Implications

One of the publicised cases of extramarital affair was that of Harry C Stonecipher, chief executive of Boeing. When the officials at Boeing found out his involvement with a female executive working along with him, both of them were forced to resign. Apart from the embarrassment, he also lost ties with his wife who filed for divorce within a few days of the incident.

This goes to show how people are intolerant towards extramarital affairs. Extramarital affair is not confined to having sex alone. Kissing or making other romantic physical advances to a person other than the spouse is also classified under this category.

Cause

With time, the wife tends to lose interest in sex and the husband might indulge in an affair to meet his sexual needs.

Being a forbidden fruit might itself tempt a few people to indulge in adultery.

A few might love the intimacy and intensity shared during the beginning of a relationship and might start an affair owing to it.

Consequences

When an extramarital affair comes to light, the person would have to decide his future. He is just left with three options:

1. Break up with his wife and move away with the person he has an affair with, causing embarrassment to his spouse and affecting the relationship with his children.

2. Face the divorce filed by his wife involving high emotional and financial burden.

3. Rectify himself and get his wife to trust and live with him which would definitely be a difficult task.

Financial Problems: Cause and Effect

Cause

Loans taken by the spouse for personal reasons or high credit card balance might make him contribute lesser to the family increasing the financial strain on the wife.

The responsibilities surrounding the marriage might not let a woman give her best at work and curtail her growth in the corporate ladder.

In the past few years, there have been huge sums of money paid towards alimony to women. There is also a concern among few men that women look at divorce as a business and make money out of it.

Implications

1. Divorce causes heartache and many women find that divorce does not free them off their financial strain. In fact, a few feel that their financial conditions have worsened after their divorce.

2. The huge legal fee paid to the lawyer could add to the existing financial woes.

Divorce is a no-win situation for a couple. So instead of trying to avenge the partner, try concentrating on the differences. The couple can chalk out ways to sort out the differences. Honesty and sincere effort from both of them can help revive the love and intimacy in addition to providing a healthy growing environment for their children.

Article Source: Free Content Articles Directory

James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. For more information on how to get a Quickie Divorce see www.quickie-divorce.com

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